Busy. I'm not really a huge fan of the word busy, although it seems to run my life more often than not. Recently, I wished my cousin farewell as he was going to spend a year living in the Cook Islands. He met a wonderful girl out there while on a surf trip and is now heading out to live there and work. I went to his "good-bye for now" party and in talking with him felt overly convicted about my busy life. He was packing up, heading out and going to get a simple job and just enjoy life in one of the most beautiful places in the world. I couldn't help but feel a tad jealous. As I was sipping on my glass of wine in his parents backyard in Rancho Santa Fe I just had this feeling come over me that I truly admired what he was doing and it made me think about my own life. Simplicity was not what came to mind.
I lived in Honolulu, Hawaii for a year for school. I moved out there on a full cheerleading scholarship and I had never even visited. Some people thought I was crazy, others were stoked for me and my family... well they were happy, but leaving them was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I will never forget the tears as they dropped me off in the hotel room that housed students. I was staying there for the first few weeks of school. It sounds strange, but it was the norm out there. Anyways, I fell in love with the state. The weather.. the beaches... the cars driving 50 mph on the freeway...the laid back vibe that they like to call "the aloha spirit." I got to wear my bathing suit under my clothes and drive my moped (yes moped) to the beach between classes. My only draw back was not having my family there to experience it with me. I felt like I missed so much back on the mainland and ended up packing up only after a year. I always told myself if my family would move, I'd go back out there. I remember coming back and holding on to my Hawaii drivers license as long as possible. I put a pink sticker on my little, white Tacoma that said "island girl" and although my friends ridiculed me for it and still bring it up on occasion, I kept it on for probably a year or so. I truly loved Hawaii.
Anyways, fast forward to the weekend of my cousin leaving and I couldn't get Hawaii off my mind. I just started feeling like maybe we aren't always supposed to live in one place our entire lives.. I mean.. God put so much beauty on this earth that I just would love to experience other places than San Diego county. Don't get me wrong, San Diego is full of beauty and I have a lot of blessings right here, but sometimes I think some of us get that itch to maybe search somewhere else out and in many cases that itch could very well be God's calling for our lives. I mean, don't they need spray tan technicians in Hawaii? I could hook up with the hotels.. spray all the tourists...give the hotel a cut... LOL. Oh man.. this is how my brain works I tell you!
So I started doing some research on the good ol' Aloha State and it's tough. The schools are not highly ranked.. the cost of living is not much different than here... possibly worse. But sometimes I just wonder if sacrificing some things for a "way of life change" would be worth it. I spoke with one of the pastors at my church who just so happens to also share my love for Hawaii and informed me if they could, they would be on the next flight, but that isn't God's calling at this time. He said something that convicted me. He said we need to be the "aloha spirit" right here until it's time to go. He's so right. I think sometimes we can get caught up in the idea that a new place may have all the answers and will make things so much different. When in reality, if I don't work on simplifying my BUSY life here, what makes me think I'm not going to end up doing the same thing out there regardless if the community is more laid back. It's a life style change I need to work on now.
I think we all get caught up in it. Too many playdates, saying yes to too many events, just too many commitments. For me every time I get to the point of too much on my plate, my body tells me so. I throw out my middle back. Didn't I just blog about that about 5 months ago? You betcha. It was called
Back In Business. Well... it happened again. Tells me a lot. I may have stopped Facebook and tried to work on my time wasters, but honestly, now maybe the truth is that I need to work on some of my even positive time commitments. I don't want to be the mom that never stops.. is never caught up... and in return is crippled every five or six months because of doing too much. I look at it like God's reminder to me... something has to give... slow down... It's amazing how humbling hurting your back is. If you have, you know what I'm talking about.
An awesome point was made at church this past weekend. My pastor spoke about how people usually finally decide to make a change
when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain it is to change. I absolutely love that statement. It's so incredibly true. I can relate to it on so many levels, but for the sake of this post, for me, the pain of my back literally being thrown out now three times in the last 10 months to the point of me not being able to walk or take care of my children without help is much worse than the pain it will be to possibly let some people down by saying no to a few events.. playdates..working a few less hours...
I want to have the aloha spirit here. I don't know if the Lord will ever bring my family to Hawaii or any other place, I'll be praying about that, but in the meantime I'm going to keep reminding myself that simplicity is only what I make it. You can't escape your own bad habits. It's a change of heart that needs to ultimately take place. ♥
