4 days apart.

Okay, so like I mentioned in my last post, the story of baby Hawthorne on the way is really quite fascinating and it has been driving me a little crazy holding it in for the last several weeks.

I guess I kind of wanted to give myself a bit of time through the first trimester before announcing it, but, finally I realized, I would rather tell people sooner and ask for prayer for a healthy baby than not tell anyone and if for some reason God had other plans for the little love the size of a blueberry inside me, then well, at least I would have a lot of other shoulders to lean on. Just my preference I suppose.

So here goes, the story I've been holding in for weeks!

And like I mentioned... if the talk of baby making, menstrual cycles and the such make you want to run for the hills, go ahead and do so now. lol! The rest of you, I'm so excited to share!!

Okay, so this goes back to October...before Halloween to be exact. Hubby and I have always talked about having another baby, but we never really knew when God's timing would be. Addyson was a bit of a surprise 6 months into our marriage, and Sawyer we tried one month and that was all it took. So after Sawyer, we knew we really had to be careful unless we were hoping to be the next Duggar family. Which as far as I know is not God's plan for us. lol.

So one evening after kids were in bed, we had a glass of wine, and were talking about the thought of having another little love running around and really got excited about the idea...and well... in so many words... we decided to give it a whirl. The next day we kinda laughed, and thought, well... maybe we should wait a few months before really trying because we just don't know yet what God's plan is for another baby for us. Let's just say, there would be no more waiting. lol. And just for the record I have no idea why for some people God allows them to get pregnant by basically looking at each other, and for others it takes all kinds of methods, even medical help to do so. I just think we all have our own battles, and lessons that the Lord is teaching us, and he uses different circumstances for different people. One of those things we will never fully understand.

Well, this is where the idea of being pregnant kind of took a different turn. My sister and her husband {and yes I have full permission to post this} with whom I am best friends with, had been trying for a baby for several months at this time... 8 to be exact. My sister and I live in the same community, are 14 months apart and have been attached at the hip our entire lives. Along with our youngest sister, who we are desperately are trying to get to move to our community as well, that just got married in September. 

The morning I got the two pink lines was a Sunday and it was the first time I actually got to tell John in person that I was pregnant! I told him over the phone with Addyson, because I was basically in a panick when I found out, and with Sawyer, I was actually out-of-state visiting family on the east coast when I found out, so once again it was over the phone. So this time around it was an exciting moment that we shared and we just kind of hugged and stared at each other and laughed. That's all we could think about doing. We couldn't believe that one time in "danger zone" and here we were.

Then it set in.. all I could think about was how nervous I was to tell my sister. I was so excited, and yet, so torn that finding out I was pregnant was probably going to discourage her greatly. I know in talking to several friends over the years that there comes a point when you are trying to get pregnant and the more people you find out about that are getting pregnant around you, the harder it gets for you to feel excited. It just makes you want that so much more... I have always felt their pain, even though I couldn't relate. I could completely understand their emotions though. It made sense. All in God's timing takes on a different meaning. You wonder if it ever will be God's timing..

So I told her first thing and we both had a lot of silent moments on the phone. She was so happy for us, and like I feared, so discouraged. It was bittersweet. I wrote a post called bitter vs. sweet that day. You can read it here. I cried. A lot.

Then the thoughts started coming in like waves... why did we even "try" knowing my sister was trying? I have a lot of friends that have been trying... am I just being insensitive? Why am I the one being blessed with another baby when all I want is for my sister and her husband to have this joy? I just knew the enemy was trying to rob me of my joy, but I couldn't stop the guilt. I spent a day crying and battling it out with God. I felt like the waves of questions were attacks. I felt horrible. Not exactly the way you think your first few days finding out your pregnant are supposed to go. Plus, not to mention the hormones that are completely out of whack now. Oh Lordy!

I just started praying. 

My husband started praying. 

My mom, my dad, my youngest sister and her husband started praying. 

A handful of friends started praying.

I truly felt the only way that my sister and I were going to feel peace in that moment was for her to be pregnant. Soon. Maybe before I was in my second trimester I was hoping. Or at least before I had the baby.

Like I said, I found out I was pregnant on Sunday and I knew her cycle {of course us sisters talk about this kind of stuff, and funny thing was how close our cycles have gotten since living .7 miles apart} and she would know on Wednesday if she was. All I could do to stop the attacks of guilt was to pray..

Tuesday morning came and by God's will alone, my sister got PREGNANT written across her digital test for the first time ever. Shocked is not the adequate word. This was even a day early!

God answered our prayers with YES, NOW. I am crying just thinking about it. 

I cannot tell you the emotions of that day. Words don't do it any justice. Our family rejoiced and praised God and laughed. It was the most amazing thing to see a prayer answered that quickly.

We calculated our due dates and found out we are due FOUR days apart. How insane is that?! We just started laughing imagining that we very well could be in the hospital at the SAME time! Imaging our families running from room to room... the husbands checking in on each other seeing how the other is holding up... what the heck we could even share a room! Well, maybe a curtain in between for "GO" time. LOL. It seriously sounded like a scene you might see on reality T.V. Obviously we have no idea how that last month will play out for each of us, but it's going to be awesome. And I'm so, so excited that I happen to be blogging now so I can document this adventure, because that's definitely what it's going to be. An adventure.

It's amazing to look back at the whirlwind of emotions... God had this from the beginning. Like this little picture mentions so perfectly, in my time of utter despair and guilt and confusion, God had something better in mind. Us being pregnant together was something we had never really imagined. Something I don't feel like we ever could have planned ourselves. At least not successfully. lol.

Now we are texting and calling each other every day, checking in on each other's painful boobs and tired state. Sending each other pics of our bumps that hardly even exist yet, and reading The Girlfriends Guide to pregnancy together.

We keep telling my youngest sister to drink the water and join us... but as a happy newlywed she is determined to wait. Darn! ;)

You better believe we will be visiting this place again as our growing bumps demand more food! LOL!

I just am thanking God for this gift of giving us each other as we go through what is very likely my last pregnancy and her first TOGETHER.

And our hubby's are just a tad thrilled about it too....

They already are practicing their before and afters. Love it!  

 This picture even makes me forget my morning sickness for a moment because I laugh so hard looking at it. 

Oh man. Love those guys!!

This is gonna be a fun road ahead.

{Linking up here}