I'm Going Back. {Prayers for Simon please!}

I'm writing this morning with a lot on my mind. I'm going to try to sift through the mountains of thoughts and try to get this post out as clear as possible. Bear with me.

A week from today I will hit my goal of going 365 days without Facebook. It has been quite a journey, and I've learned a lot. My heart has changed I can promise you that. If you haven't read my Facebook aha! moment, you can read that here.

Up until recently I have been torn on whether or not I want to go back on. I don't really miss it most of the time, but slowly I started feeling it on my heart that it's not about me. Why do I keep making this about me?  Ahh, because I'm human I suppose. :)

My decision at this point is about those that I truly care about. The ones that I have failed at staying in contact with this past year... 

The ones that I had no idea that their baby was born with critical conditions that needed prayer. 

The ones that came down with unique illnesses this year and I was one of the last to know. 

The ones that found out they were pregnant after a long time of trying and I wasn't able to offer my congrats.  

These are the people that I care about and just because I can't make a call to each of them every month to see how they are doing doesn't mean I don't want to know what is going on with them, pray for them, let them know I'm here for them.

At first I think I just expected everyone would get it that I was not on Facebook, therefore, if big events happened, well then text me of course! Guess what, in the heat of a moment when you are crying out for prayer you don't have time to make a second contact list of all the people that don't have social media. I remember this so clearly when we were on our knees asking for prayer on Facebook as I watched my father-in-law pass away within 72 hours of his diagnosis of cancer. This was only 2 years ago and I remember it as clear as day. I could barely get updates up on Facebook, never mind even think about anyone that I may not have reached in that way. But those posts and being surrounded by prayer on that site is what helped keep us going... I hope this is making sense.

Then something happened last night and it confirmed all the feelings I have been having. A friend of mine posted an image on Instagram of a family I know and her caption read: Praying for you Simon! My heart stopped for a moment. Wait a second.. I know them, Simon is only a few months younger than Sawyer. My husband knows her husband... what is going on with Simon!? I posted back on Instagram immediately asking what was going on, and my friend said to add her on Facebook so that I could get all the updates. I was instantly so annoyed at myself. I couldn't get the updates because I am not on Facebook. I had to have my husband add her and then he relayed all the information to me.

Little, sweet, Simon slipped and fell in the bath the night before and was taken to urgent care for what they thought was a concussion. They posted on a Facebook a picture of him in the waiting room and asked for prayer. Literally about 3 hours later they were posting saying that Simon was now fighting for his life. He was life-flighted to San Diego Children's Hospital for emergency brain surgery! Are you kidding me!? I could not believe what I was hearing. So now he went through surgery and is still in critical condition. They are trying to figure out how much brain function he has at this point, keep his temperature down and slowly get him off the sedation. I cannot even imagine the roller coaster this dear family is going through right now. I immediately started praying. I woke up about a million times last night, and every time I woke up I got out the words, Lord heal Simon. This little boy has consumed my thoughts, my prayers.

This incident confirmed what I had already been feeling. 

I'm going back.  

I can't pray, organize meals, help with fundraisers if I don't know what is going on.  

I don't take it personally that I have been the last to know about things, it's just life. Facebook and Twitter are by far the best way at reaching a lot of people in a short amount of time. I'm just thankful I had Instagram otherwise I have no idea how long it would have gone without me knowing about little Simon.

I considered getting back on Facebook a week early so that I could read the updates, but I am going to wait until the 365 are up. I'm having my husband check constantly and update me right now. We both have our hearts invested in his recovery.

Basically, at this point after dealing with my own issues of Facebook I've realized that the positive aspects of it far outweigh the negatives. And if negative feelings start to come back, well, then I should probably check my heart first.  

I'm eager to connect with those that I did lose contact with over the last year. I'm not afraid for a moment that it will consume my time because I've already dealt with that. I think at this point going back on Facebook will probably make me a better friend. If I see something going on, I can personally check in with them and get together. I'm ready to write lovey dove messages on my hubby's wall again.. LOL.

I probably will keep my blog name the same for now because, well, A Mom Without Facebook is where this blog started. It still holds special meaning to me. I think the Lord really taught me a lot during this time I spent away from Facebook. I'm glad I did it, and I'm proud of myself for committing to going the full 365 days without it. Just for the sake of discipline.

I'm still going to be blogging, because I love this way of sharing my thoughts. I love being able to look back at my blog posts this year alone and see where I have come, the different trials I have gone through, the happy moments I have shared and be able to read my exact emotion on that day. Something I will never relive. So although I may not be blogging daily, this momma isn't going anywhere.

I'm coming back to the lovely social networking site.... and if I had to choose one word to describe the feeling... humbled.

In the meantime, I do want to ask for prayer for sweet Simon. I will keep you all updated as his progress continues.

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I wish you all a safe and blessed New Year!

Oh and here's a little fun note to end on. I'm almost done with my first trimester! YES!!!!