From 2... to 3.

I woke up to an inbox message from a sweet and talented gal. She was privately asking me a few questions about how life has changed from going from two kids to three. I chuckled when I read her message as I was sucking down my first cup of coffee after being up with Capri five... I think five, maybe more.. times last night. I almost waited to respond to her thinking, oh Lord, she doesn't want to know how I feel right now, but felt compelled to share my heart and now here I am also sharing my heart with the rest of you. 

Let me back track a tad to explain that while going from one kid to two kids 21 months apart, I had a relatively seamless transition. I actually started my business, Raving Tans, when Sawyer was only three months old. I was blessed with very easy going babies, that slept fairly well. I remember the first time leaving the house with both of them and it took me, no joke, two hours to pack everything. I now realize how much I have changed. I somehow managed to get all four of us out the door this morning in 15 min. It was a ridiculous morning where I actually was so exhausted that I was sitting there sipping coffee after responding to her message, baby was sleeping, kids were hanging out after eating breakfast and at exactly 8:15 I looked up and realized OH MY GOSH TODAY IS A SCHOOL DAY!!! We have to leave the house at 8:30. I literally flew upstairs, woke up the baby, threw on Sawyer's rain boots with his pjs and Addy got herself ready in lightening speed. We were all laughing! I kept telling Addy, I can't believe mommy forgot it was a school day!! I felt so ridiculous. Some how we made it to school on time with no tears, no one upset. I remember looking at my diaper bag on the way out and thinking, no time to pack that, if she has a bomb on the way to school, well, I guess it will wait until we get home to change it! Bad, I know. I grabbed the keys, my trusty old hat and we were off.

So, although I have relaxed a lot since having three, I must also say that I regularly feel like I have lost half of my brain cells. Most likely to sleep deprivation... STILL.. at six months old.

Oh coffee... you are good to me! Which I proudly {not sure why proudly} drink black now. I had a few friends come over for a play date and two of them asked for their coffee black. I remember scrunching my face in response and saying? REALLY? I had to try it. So the next few days I did drink it black and felt so hardcore.  

As hardcore as a mom drinking coffee can get. lol. 

I actually loved it. Weird... try it, dare you! 

Okay.. 

So, in responding to her questions this morning it really made me think about how the change has been for me, for us, for our family. This may start out sounding like a large venting session, but I promise it is so much more than that. 

I'm not going to lie, if you know how I blog by now, well, real is what you get. It has not been a walk in the park. Capri as well has been a very easy going baby, but she has had a few issues with her sleeping. Congestion kept her up in the first few months, and then her early teething dominated the next several. This girl had two bottom teeth at 5 months old. As a mom, you always compare your baby to your older kids and when they did things, and for me, 5 months was EXTREMELY early for teething. I have come to the conclusion that I think Capri has a much lower pain tolerance as well. For goodness sakes, remember Sawyer broke his tiny leg at 16 months old and if he wasn't not bearing weight on it, I would have had no idea his leg was broken. You can read about his Toddler's Fracture here. So coming from Mr. Tough Cookie to now a little princess, it has been a bit of a change. Add in the fact that the girls are sharing a room, so it makes moving her out of our room into their room more of a challenge. With all her waking up, I don't want all the other kids waking up, so we still have her in our room.

I also was explaining to her that I feel like sometimes I'm constantly telling one of them, "hold on just a second love." And sometimes this just breaks my heart. I want to be able to help all of them with everything they need, but I'm realizing I can't do that. Sometimes the big kids have to wait, sometimes the baby has to fuss for me to help Sawyer put his pants back on. My house is not picked up as well as it used to, my dishes are not always done when my husband gets home. The laundry... OH THE LAUNDRY. Laundry has, and continues to be my nemesis. Some days I completely fail, like this one.

I put up a post the other day about my trip to the store with all three of them. Which doesn't happen as often as it needs to.

It read:

"I guess I don't get out to stores with all 3 kids very often. I can't even tell you how many people stopped me and said, "wow, you have your hands full!" Or just stared.. Wow. Lol. The kids did great too! Take that people watchers! Haha."

It's true, I do have my hands full and the truth is, I'm so grateful on some days it just brings me to my knees thanking Him for this sometimes out of control life I've been given.  

I too have to remember that I was wonderfully made by the same creator that made the Heavens and the Earth, and he knew in stringing together my DNA that I would thrive on having my hands full. Teaching me all along the way...

I'm not that crazy, I mean I only have 3 kids, come on, the Proverbs 31 wife had just a FEW things going on right? She had so many things on her plate and she did them WELL. Oh how I strive to be like her!  

"She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue

  She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness."

{Proverbs 31: 26-27} 

Going from 2 to 3... well... here are a few things I've learned.

♥

I have had to lean on the Lord every day. Like ALL the days that end in Y.

I have had to become and even stronger TEAM with my husband. Oh how thankful I am for this man.

I have had to accept that I will not accomplish as much as I feel "I should" on days where the kids just need more of my time than the house does.

I have had to relax when it comes to that pile of dishes, that unswept floor, knowing that I WILL get to it, just not yet.

I've learned to take the time to just stare at this beautiful baby and hang on dearly to the moments, even the tough ones, knowing that these moments will be gone far too soon. I do feel like our family is complete, unless God has some crazy other plans he hasn't filled me in on yet.

I have had to rethink my work and understand that growing my business to another level is not what God has planned for me right now. Mothering is. He will provide exactly what I need from that business, and I need not worry.

MY FAMILY is my first ministry. 

I've learned that as soon as I feel a little out of control with my commitments, I release one. Hard for me, but life changing.

I've learned I'm going to fail some days, but other days I'm gonna ROCK this having 3 kids and juggling all my commitments thing like nobody's business. And it's with His strength. Not mine.

I've learned that I do need MY time. Maybe a little more often than I did before. And if that means getting up early and going to workout before our commitments on Sunday, I'll do it. No one wants to be around a grumpy mom.

I've learned that it's pretty difficult to be quick to anger when you have worship music playing. Try it.

I've learned that there are going to be days that I need to put myself in a mommy time-out before we have finished breakfast, and guess what, as long as I apologize and teach my kids about forgiveness, it was a morning not wasted. 

I've learned to appreciate and thank the Lord for some AMAZING friends I have in my life. Friends that I can just shoot a text message to in the morning asking for prayer, knowing that they have me covered that day. {Yes, I did send out a text this morning.}

I've learned that as long as I am SEEKING HIM first of all things, my life, although it might look crazy to some, is absolutely perfect and tailor made for me.

So, if at first glance it may seem like I am overwhelmed, exhausted, running a crazy house, well, you are all correct. But, at the same time I have JOY. SO much JOY. These babies have been given to me as a precious, precious gift. My Lord has my back and he's never going to forsake me.

The Lord has actually even changed my heart over the last two years in regards to my kids and I will be sharing that with you all very soon.. I promise I'm not pregnant. lol.

Until then.. feel free to give me any advice when it comes to helping my teething baby sleep through the night.. lol. And thank you to the lovely that sent me the message this morning that spurred this post. I think it will be one I will continually go back and read on the hard days to remember at 6 months into being a mom of 3, how much I have learned.

Now back to the coffee.. 

♥