GOTCHA!

I've been ignoring something lately.

You know that feeling when God puts something on your heart, teaches you a lesson, you read or hear something and deep down you know it wasn't meant for just you alone. 

I now know that this is one of the ways Mr. Holy Spirit makes himself known to me. I get an undeniable feeling, and I hate to use the word feeling, but an undeniable sense that I need to write about specific things. That this conviction I feel or truth was meant to be shared. I have not the slightest clue as to who it might also be for, but I know in my heart that I'm called to share it. 

At these times when I get these burning feelings I actually sometimes feel like I need to, well, let's be honest, run for the deodorant! So not kidding here.. and sorry if that's tmi for some of you. But I get that sweaty, nervous feeling and literally have sentences running through my brain of what is supposed to be on paper. Or typed? It's almost like the post is writing itself.. and guess what... lately I've been shutting them off. A few days go by, and phew, that feeling has subsided. On with my life.

I'm too tired.
I just want to relax tonight.
My computer is way too slow to write. (Yes, I've used that one.)
I just need to get this work email sent.
And my favorite of all, Lord, please, this one is quite personal, I don't really want to share THAT one.

But once you feel convicted about failing to share your convictions then where do you turn? lol. That was such a strange sentence. Well, I guess repent and get back in the saddle.

Thank God for his grace once again. 

I have loved the song, "Use Me Here" the moment I heard it during summer camp at Hume Lake back in high school. A whole *cough* 11 years ago. Sheesh. When you write it down it sounds SO long ago!

The chorus by Everybody Duck:

Use me here, where I am.
Not gonna pray anymore that you change your plans.
Despite my fear, I place my life in your hands.
The future can wait, tomorrow might be too late.
Jesus use me here. 

Good one huh?

Funny that I find myself praying these words and then when God gives me the opportunity to be "used" to share something he is teaching me, I say, not right now. Ha. Oh man. I'm so guilty.

I somehow tweak the chorus...

Use me here, when it's super convenient.
When I'm fully rested and my kids have been good.
Preferably after a nap, and my schedule is free.
Jesus use me then. 

I hope you catch my extreme sarcasm, but how often do I do this!? Please someone tell me they can relate! Maybe your conviction isn't writing, but something else. Something that you have been avoiding for a while.

Time to repent of my selfish flesh once again. 
Slow down.
Make time for the Lord when he says GO. 

So all that to say... one of my new years resolutions is to write more. Not just to write, but to write when that burning feeling inside me can't be anything other than the Holy Spirit. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure from time to time I'll share things that God does not give me a burning desire to share {like my new awesome soup recipe!!}, but I think you will be able to pick out the posts in which I do feel called to write.. like this, or this, or this one.

Lastly, I give you all permission now to hold me accountable. That's what I love about blogging! Once it's out here, well, gosh now every little mouse click to this page is another person that can hold me to it. Haven't heard from me in a while, text me, email me. I guarantee it's not because I haven't learned something or felt a conviction. Call me out. I need it. 

My prayer is that although I might be wearing a lot of hats right now, I never want to be too busy to do something that God is pressing on my heart for me to do. I hope you can pray for me too. 

Funny that my toddler got sick over the weekend, my husband had plans to pick up a friend from the airport tonight and I'm left to ring in the new year in such a strange way. Writing? I feel like God is smiling and saying to me, "GOTCHA!"

God - 1, me - 0.

Alright, glad we got that settled.

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own." Philippians 3:12.

Here's to 2013!

Happy, happy New Year from my little fam to yours!

Worth listening to..

Enjoy!