Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Sawyer's apple

Ohh my. It's been a while.  
It's naptime, it's quiet, and the "Hawthorne hurricane" that is my house at this moment will have to wait.  
The funny thing is that this story I am about to tell did not happen today, or yesterday. It happened about a month ago. August 15th to be exact. I knew in that moment that I needed to write about it. But wasn't exactly sure what.
I scratched some notes down about it in my prayer notebook, dated it, and well...went on with my life. More likely, got distracted with the next thing on my to-do list, was needed by one of the little humans I'm raising, and the thought of the incident was long gone. Gone like a freight-train, gone like yesterday, gone like a soldier in the civil war.. you get the picture. No need for all the Montgomery Gentry lyrics. lol. I tend to break out in song over here all the time, my poor kids.
Anyways.. so today I found my note.
Sawyer, my 4 year old, had just woke up from his nap. He asked for a snack, and then decided he actually wanted to get it himself.
An apple.
"Sawyer, do you want me to help you cut that apple?" I asked.
"No mom, I'm going to do it myself," he politely responded.
I saw him fumble into the drawer for his "kid knife," took out a plate and proceeded to sit down at the little white table and attempt to cut up his apple.
"Are you sure you don't want help bud?" I asked again.
"Nope, I've got it Mom!"
I watched from the couch as he started cutting the apple on one side and close to his fingers. He actually had the knife flipped upside down so the "sharp side" was not even on the skin of the apple.
By force he got a little cut into the apple with the blunt side of the knife, but that was about it.
Frustrated, he turned the apple the other way and proceeded to try again in the other direction.
He had the right tool.
Unsuccessful, he finally looked up to me for instruction.
"Ok mom, I guess I do need some help," he sighed.
I went over and his little attempts at cutting into the apple were in the shape of a cross.
I smiled.  
It's funny how the Lord speaks to me. Through braiding my daughter's hair, or the way my son cuts apples. But I felt the Lord speaking to me in that moment.
Oh little Sawyer, my son, I am just like you.
I get so excited to do things in this life. I feel "big enough" to tackle them sometimes. Those that know me in real life, well you know if I'm in, I'm all in. There isn't much in between.
A go-getter I guess you could say.
Sometimes I get so excited and even though I feel like I have all the tools to get the job done, I get frustrated and my go-to is well.. I get overwhelmed.
The funny thing is that it always brings me right back to the cross.
To my knees.
To repenting.
I realize I've failed to ask for instruction from the author of this life.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5
God tells us to ask for wisdom and it will be given freely.
It's so simple really.
But at times, so hard.
Oh pride. It seems as though you and I have met yet again.
I have the Word - the right tool. It's asking for the wisdom to understand and the ability to apply these truths in my own life with strength other than my own that I constantly have to remind myself. 
I don't have to do this journey through life and handle all the things that God has called me to in my own strength.
This is so comforting.. yet, like a small child, I often forget.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."
2 Timothy 1:7
"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
I have a helper.
I just need ask.
I remember as I sat their patiently watching Sawyer attempt to cut the apple and fail, I was not upset. I watched as he got more frustrated. I was there, just waiting for him to ask me for help.
Isn't that how our Father sees us?
Patient. Waiting. Ready and willing to help.
My friends, I'm praying today as I close out this post, and my oldest is now ready for me to help her make her Rainbow Loom bracelet, that today you cast your burdens on Him.
Let the Lord guide you.
Let Him instruct you.
Give Him your day.
The heavy lifting has already been done for us.
His yoke is light.
The next time we find ourselves forcefully trying to cut into our own "apples" I pray that we will remember this, stop, and ask our greatest Helper for instruction.
The answer might be as simple as turning over that knife.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Dear Mayhem's Mom -- I get it.

Dear Mayhem's Mom, 

I can't remember where I read it first. I had so many people send me the link to the article about "the mother who makes paper dresses with her 4 year old fashion guru," that I lost track. 

As many close to me have known, my now 5 year old daughter has also expressed a similar love for fashion at a very young age. I believe she began dressing herself around the age of 2 1/2 and I quickly gave up the battle of matching outfits, and let her little mind create whatever she wanted to wear from then on. Now she spends her free time drawing outfits hoping the designers will create someday. I don't have this gene, so I'm not sure where she gets it. lol. 

I showed her the article and all the photos of the dresses you and Mayhem created. Her eyes lit up in the most glorious way and in an instant she was off to draw the first dress she wanted us to make. 

We made our first paper dress together that day. 

But I got more than just an idea for an outlet for my daughter's creativity from reading that article. 

I sit here today overwhelmed with how much I get it. 

You have capitalized on a precious time period in your daughter's life that will never be forgotten. You found a way to capture these sweet, innocent moments where deciding on her next dress is the biggest decision she has to make. 

As a mommy of 3 little ones, the days are long, but the years are short and soon enough the days of paper dress making will be behind us. Mayhem will grow, and you will one day tape together your last paper dress, but this memory that you have made will never ever fade. 

You helped your child's creativity blossom. 

You stepped into her world and brought it to life. 

You selflessly took time from your day and spent it by her side creating memories that truly will last a lifetime. 

A mother that didn't begin something for her own gain, but a mother that chose to get on the floor with her baby and spend the time with her, someone noticed and something big came of it. 

The love you have shown your child by your dedication and presence is what I saw. 

This is why I immediately went to follow you on Instagram and overloaded your website with clicks. 

I saw something that was truly special, and I know I'm not alone. 

An innocent and creative outlet for you and your daughter. 

Yes, your dresses are amazing, but that was just the outcome of a love that could be felt by the hundreds of thousands of people that saw that post. 

We could feel the love, the real love that would make a mom spend countless hours putting together dresses to be worn for 5 minutes a day. 

That's the beauty. 

This world LONGS to see love like this. 

And I'm just a mom touched by your story. 

I get it. 

Beauty in the simplest way. 

Time spent on your little one's passion. 

Selfless. Fun. Love. 

I pray you keep creating, keep spending those moments with her on the floor during the craziness that has now become your life. 

I know I'm not alone when I say I'm inspired. 

Inspired to find my own outlet with each of my kids as I watch them grow and see their own interests unfold. 

Mayhem's Mom, thank you. 

I get it.