Bittersweet Awareness

Throwing up our "4's" for 4 years! 

I planned to write a post this past weekend as my husband and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. The two of us lovebirds have a tradition of going back to the La Costa Resort & Spa every year for our anniversary and staying for an evening as we did the night we got married on February 17th, 2007. This trip was a bit bittersweet because as we were packing to leave I got a text message from a friend asking me to pray for a little boy named Travis. My friend explained that this little boy was about to go into a CT scan after going into cardiac arrest the day before. Travis was 16 months old. My friend quickly sent me the blog so that I could follow the story of Travis and so I did. I jumped on the computer and was in tears immediately. I got on my knees and my daughter and I began praying for this family I had never met. I sent out a mass text message asking for prayer for this little boy that touched my heart the moment the blog page loaded.


In the next few hours, the unspeakable happened and Travis was pronounced brain dead. My heart sank. This little boy was going home to his creator so soon... Talk about a whirlwind of emotions.. I just found out about this little boy and my heart was already invested in his story... a little background.. Travis was born October 23, 2009 with a Congenital Heart Defect known as Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, or HLHS. The short explanation is that Travis was born with only half of a heart. Since Travis's birth he has gone through a series of 4 surgeries, 3 cath lab procedures and many other tests. February 18, one day after his 4th surgery his heart stopped beating for 2 hours, while the medical team administered CPR for 2 hours while they hooked up the ECMO (heart/lung bypass). Although his blood gas levels were good throughout CPR he was declared brain dead on February 19.

I sat there in shock and wanted to help this family in some way. Come to find out they live in my community only a few streets away from me and they also have an adorable daughter also named Addison born on November 14, 2010. I am now helping organize meals to bring to them over the next month with my wonderful church backing me up. I can't help but wish there was something more I could do for them.

I got a response from my mass text from a friend and she wrote me something that really touched my heart. I even posted it on the family's blog page. It was a quote by Randy Alcorn. "Those who believe in Christ could more accurately call our present existence the beforelife rather than calling Heaven the afterlife. Life doesn't merely continue in Heaven; it emerges at last to it's intended fullness."

I know that no human words would give them comfort at this time. I just encouraged them to hold each other, and their beautiful little 4 month old girl and look to Him... I am continuing to pray for their family that peace will surpass all understanding... I also wanted to encourage them to not stop their blogging. Travis' story has touched many people and Travis' life will be etched on many hearts. Come to find out, the family selflessly donated Travis' kidneys to a little boy in need in L.A. His legacy will live on. You can follow Travis' story by visiting www.dicarlofamilyupdates.blogspot.com. They are still looking for help in forms of gift cards to help defray costs of the celebration of life and also for the parent's loss of work. If you, as I was, feel compelled to help this family please comment on this post and I will get in touch with you and let you know how.

Another way I felt I could help this family was by educating myself on this heart condition and helping bring awareness to others. I had never heard of HLHS. Reading more about it on her blog brought me to another blog and another blog that also were families touched by this condition. Although HLHS is not as common, come to find out CHD (Congenital heart defects) is actually INCREDIBLY common and I had NO idea. Here are just a few facts on CHD.

CHD Facts

• Congenital heart defects (CHDs) occur when a baby's heart fails to form properly during early pregnancy. In most cases, the cause is unknown, although scientists feel both genetic and environmental factors play a role.Some environmental factors that increase the risk of CHDs include the mother’s use of cocaine, alcohol or certain medications while pregnant. Some maternal medical conditions – such as diabetes – may also increase risk.
• CHDs are the most common birth defect – and the leading cause of birth defect-related deaths.
• CHDs occur more often than Spina Bifida, Down Syndrome or hearing loss – and kill twice as many children as childhood cancer.
• It is estimated that 40,000 babies with CHDs are born in the United States each year – that’s one in every 100 babies.
• Although some babies will be diagnosed at birth, newborns are not routinely screened for CHDs – and pregnant women are not routinely tested for CHDs.
• There are approximately 35 different types of congenital heart defects. HLHS being the most difficult to "treat".
• Some CHDs may be treated with surgery, medicine and/or devices, such as artificial valves and pacemakers. In the last 25 years, advances in the treatment of heart defects have enabled half a million U.S. children with serious CHDs to survive into adulthood.
• Many cases of sudden cardiac death in young athletes are caused by undiagnosed CHDs and childhood-onset heart disease.
• Early detection is critical to the successful treatment of CHDs. Some heart defects can be detected by a routine ultrasound – but the most effective prenatal test is an echocardiogram performed by a Pediatric Cardiologist.

My family has even had their share with a child with CHD. My little cousin happened to be born with a rare heart condition and just last year was named the New Hampshire Children's Miracle Network's Champion Child. For Caleb's amazing story you can check out this link below. Caleb is now almost 5 years old, but my uncle and aunt still approach each day with guarded optimism as they put it. So is the life I realize of any parent of a CHD child.

Caleb's Story

In reading Travis' story, I mentioned I also bounced to other blogs. I found one that stood out to me and one of this mother's posts was incredible and really put into words why CHD awareness is so important. I encourage you to read it...

Hope for Baby Bennett

I'm leaving this post very bittersweet. Although I did have an incredible weekend celebrating with my amazing husband that the Lord has given me for the past 4 years, the weekend couldn't help but be in the shadow of mourning this little boy... I got home from our weekend and hugged my kids a little tighter and gave them extra kisses. I can't imagine the pain the family is in now home to a quiet house, without a 16 month old in it. I think most of us forget how blessed we are to have children without any medical issues. Here I was frustrated just last week over my son getting yet another congested nose. Definitely puts your world in perspective knowing that something like this is going on just down the road...

I close with this Psalm...

 "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 ♥

Brand New

Wow, it's been a while since I sat down to throw some of my thoughts in a post. Don't worry, I have not abandoned my journey... and I'm definitely not back on Facebook. ☺


The last few weeks have been filled with excitement and also have begged me to grow once again as I've reached a new stage when it comes to parenting. On Wednesday, February 2nd Sawyer took his first steps at 10 months old. Sadly, I was at a parenting class and missed these first steps, but my husband was more than thrilled to finally see one of his "firsts." Bittersweet. Since then, he has taken more steps... stands alone frequently and is way too fast at crawling in my opinion. I'm fairly certain his big sister would agree. Addyson has had to adjust to this new, very quick, little brother and outbursts of "helllpppp, mommy helppppp" are nicely scattered all throughout my day now. Whenever Sawyer turns in her direction she knows she has about five to ten seconds, if she is lucky, to try and defend her tower of blocks, her tea party or tiny dinosaur figurines before little brother is there to join her with a big smile on his face and usually his idea at playing is just a tad different than hers. I'm going to just say it now, boys are so different than girls!

With a fast approaching three year old on my hands I've had my share of difficulties over the past few months, but at the same time she absolutely never ceases to entertain me. Addyson is the perfect mix of a girly girl tomboy. I think this picture sums her personality up perfectly. Insisting on wearing her cheetah print top and tutu while playing in the dirt with two swords. She definitely has a mind of her own and knows what she likes.

I've realized quickly that this whole parenting thing is quite a job that I have been given. Raising them up is hard enough, never mind raising them up to be polite, well-behaved, thinkers with personal responsibility. So I have been seeking counsel in forms of a parenting class (like I mentioned), my moms group at my church, several books, the Bible, and of course my own mom. I can assure you this list is not in the order of importance.  Someone said, "I think you know if you did a good job raising your kids if they come back to you for parenting advice." I chuckled when I heard that because I do go to my mom and dad for parenting advice already.

I've been gaining lots of insight and getting a lot out of each of these avenues. One lesson that greatly stood out to me was from the mom class at my church. The speaker was an older man and as I walked in, I immediately wondered what he would have to say to a group of young moms. How could he relate? I quickly found out and not only left with a fabulous amount of notes, I also did my share of crying as well. Okay, a quick side note... I don't know about you other moms out there, but since I had my kids I have had several things change. One being that I now need glasses for distance, especially driving at night. Another being that I have all of a sudden had an influx of cavities, which I suppose can be more related to my new diet Coke obsession, but I still will blame my kids because it started during pregnancy. lol. Lastly, I have turned into an absolute cry baby. Not about things that upset me, but anything that has to do with kids! Kids singing, stories about kids, I am not doing this justice, but let me just tell you I pretty much need to bring tissues with me wherever I go and a stash of mascara because it is quite ridiculous.

Okay, so this speaker went on and the topic was Stuff I Wish I Knew As A Young Parent. Hmmm. Okay, this could be good. Oh and it was! These are just a few of the things he went over that hit me hard.

*Time is short, learn to enjoy where you are at.
*Your child is a gift from God, not a problem to be fixed or a project to be developed.
*There are NO perfect parents.
*We can't model perfection because we aren't perfect, but we can model growth.
*Pray for your children and pray for yourself to be the mother God wants us to be.
*Tell your children that you thank God for them.
*Challenge your children to think by asking simple questions.
*The most important thing in parenting is the relationship.
*YOU are the most important person in your child's life, don't leave this up to someone else.
*When we blow it with our children, ask for forgiveness.

These ideas were the ones that stood out to me the most. Amazingly enough I think many of these ideas can be applied to your life no matter if you have children or not. Marriages or friendships also come to mind. If we just switch all the words in that list to husband, wife or friend...most of the same principles apply. Interesting isn't it?

For myself I think the bullets that made the most impact were the first and the last. I remember immediately after having Addyson that every one I spoke to gave me the same phrase. "It goes by so fast." I never really understood this at the time. Nothing seems fast when you are up several times a night, living on no sleep. And I had two very easy babies. I can't imagine how it would have been to have a baby with colic or reflux. I'm sure those parents couldn't wait for that time to go by. But, looking back and it has only been a short time I realized that I can already see what those "grown ups" were telling me. I'm watching my daughter grow up so fast and my son seems to be doing things even quicker than she did. I know I have plenty of days where I'm so exhausted by the constant discipline and have been guilty of wanting to just figure out a way to "fix" this defiant time. Obviously it is good to want to work to grow my parenting skills and raise up my children in the proper way, but I also need to remember in my fits of frustration that someday I'm going to look back and wish I had this time with my kids again. I want to learn to ENJOY my kids in every stage of their growing up.

Wonderful, now the tears are dropping onto the keyboard. I tell ya, I'm not joking about this crying stuff!

The other thing that I mentioned that really stood out to me was the idea of when we blow it with our kids, asking them for forgiveness. Notice I said when we blow it, because as mentioned, there are NO perfect parents, spouses, friends, etc.The idea of humbling ourselves even to our children really speaks volumes to me and what a lesson for your kids to learn. Teaching them to forgive and to ask for forgiveness by seeing their own parents do the same. I love that.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen other moms and thought to myself that she must really know something I don't know... because they seem like the perfect parent when in reality they are probably doing the very same thing to someone else. I think it is good for us to smack ourselves sometimes and realize we are NOT perfect and never will be. Not one of us. Not even that one person or parent that seems on the outside that they do have it all together. We are all going to make our fair share of mistakes with these gifts we have been given. Whether they be children, spouses, or friends.

If everyday we woke up and strived to do something a little better than the day before, I think it would work wonders. It's important for us to remember it's never too late to start fresh... to be someone new.. whether as a parent, a spouse or a friend. There's a song by Taylor Swift, and yes, I admit at 28 I do like listening to Taylor Swift, please someone tell me I'm not the only one. haha. Anyways, there is a song on her newest album that talks about the idea that who we are is not what we've done. Who we are is not where we've been. It's never too late to be brand new.

I'm going to end this post with a quote that has always inspired me.  In the great words of Rick Warren, "we are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it." I think everyone can probably gather a different meaning from this quote and I can even say it has held different meanings to me at different times in my life. Today this quote rings true for my parenting style. I don't have to be a prisoner of my old parenting style. I can choose today to make it brand new. ♥

His Fingerprints

A God glorifying tool. Hmm.. I mentioned this in a previous post, The Double-Edged Sword, because I wanted to remind myself that this public journey I have embarked upon was one that I didn't want to end up using for a strictly self serving purpose. I'm sure this comment sent some readers running for the hills, never to check in on my blog again, left others confused and others somewhat intrigued. What would a blog look like that was supposed to be God glorifying for 365 days? Well, to be honest I wasn't even really sure at the time I wrote that. I just knew that this was going to be my purpose and I encourage you to see what I mean by that. I will get back to this statement, I promise, but for a moment I'm taking a quick detour.

Last night at the Doctrine & Theology class that I blogged about in my last post, we hit another fantastically fascinating topic. God's creation. Now, this is quite a topic...one that I can barely even touch the surface of in a short blog post, but I will throw out some interesting facts and what stood out to me personally. As I was listening to the pastor speak, instantly a song came to mind by George Straight. If any of you are country fans, like myself, you will recognize these lyrics.

I Saw God Today

Just walked down the street to the coffee shop
Had to take a break
I'd been by her side for 18 hours straight
Saw a flower growin' in the middle of the sidewalk
Pushin' up through the concrete
Like it was planted right there for me to see
The flashin' lights
The honkin' horns
All seemed to fade away
In the shadow of that hospital at 5:08
I saw God today

I've been to church
I've read the book
I know he's here
But I don't look
Near as often as I should
Yeah, I know I should
His fingerprints are everywhere
I just slowed down to stop and stare
Opened my eyes and man I swear
I saw God today

Saw a couple walkin' by they were holdin' hands
Man she had that glow
Yeah I couldn't help but notice she was startin' to show it
Stood there for a minute takin' the sky
Lost in that sunset
Splash of amber melted in the shades of red

I've been to church
I've read the book
I know he's here
But I don't look
Near as often as I should
Yeah, I know I should
His fingerprints are everywhere
I just slowed down to stop and stare
Opened my eyes and man I swear
I saw God today

Got my face pressed up against the nursery glass
She's sleepin' like a rock
My name on her wrist
Wearin' tiny pink socks
She's got my nose, she's got her mama's eyes
My brand new baby girl
She's a miracle
I saw God today

Okay, so sappy mommy moment, but that song just kills me. After having two little miracles myself, this song strikes me much more so than it did the first time I heard it. Not only does the part about the little baby girl hit me, but the chorus does as well. How often we go through life without taking the time to slow down and see just how much the Lord's fingerprints are everywhere... this beautiful life we see everyday begs us to look to the creator.. I'm not saying that everything about this world is beautiful by any means because as we all know there are horrible things that happen everyday due to us living in a fallen world, but I'm talking about creation. A picture as beautiful and perfect as a amber sunset or a baby being born had to be made by a spectacular artist and I don't know about you, but that is someone I would gladly like to invest my time in getting to know.

Anyways, the topic of creation was so interesting to me and another part of the class also hit home. My pastor was talking about how God created us to bring glory to Him. Well, this does not at all mean that we have to be sitting in a church every moment of the day and praying to bring glory to God. How boring that would be! God gave us each other and all kinds of blessings in this life. Part of the notes from my pastor explained it like this:

As part of our goal to "glorify God and enjoy Him forever," we are called to glorify Him in whatever we do (so long as it is not sin). Part of this is enjoying all the blessings He has given us, whether part of His creation or part of our creation that we create from His creation (so long as we don't idolize or abuse them). 


He then went on to name many different things that could be considered on this list of blessings given by God that when we are enjoying (as long as not sinning in doing so) are all ways of showing glory to God. Just a few on the list included cars, baseball, friends, beer, watching movies, iPhones, sex, ice cream, etc.

A fabulous quote by Martin Luther was then read, "You know, there's stars in the sky and certain astrologers worship them. If it's causing them to stumble, then we have to find a way to take them down." Of course he is joking but isn't that an interesting point! Definitely hits home once again with me and Facebook.

A key thing stood out in my mind as I listened last night. Just because I want to make my blog a God glorifying tool does not mean my blog is going to be constantly only quoting scripture and basically becoming a modified Sunday school lesson each time I get on to put my thoughts into words. Sharing stories about the many blessings in my life, posting pictures of my kids as they are reaching new milestones, talking about something I have learned from a friend, enjoying a darn good beer or fabulous glass of wine I stumbled upon or a song that touched my heart are all ways of bringing glory to God! Now, I'm not saying that I won't be quoting scripture or talking about Jesus, because my goal is for the word of the Lord to be the biggest influence in my life. But, what a freeing feeling! Makes me think about my blog in a whole new way. Instead of looking at it as being a blog with a list of instructions attached, now it is far from that. Sadly, I think that when most people think about the Bible they think of it as a manual for life. A list of what to do and what not to do. It is SO much more than that! I will have to blog on that topic at another time. But here is a final thought that intrigued me from last night.

We are created worshipping. Why does the word worshipping keep telling me that I'm spelling it wrong? Aren't there two p's in worshipping? lol. Anyways, once again I'm ignoring the little red dots, and back to my point. We are worshipping all the time. When we are not glorifying God, we are glorifying something else. I know that when I'm not glorifying God I'm usually glorifying myself, sometimes to the extent that I forget why I need God in the first place. 

I have no idea what I am going to blog about the next time I choose to log in, but now I have a new excitement knowing that it is not as hard as I may think to bring glory to the one that created us through my writing. It's funny because I never even thought about this when I was on Facebook. My goal was never to bring glory to God through my posts. I was not trying to unglorify God by any means, but I wasn't conscious of it! Most of the time I was self seeking. I think that fact alone would drastically change my time spent on Facebook if I ever choose to log back in to my personal account.. At this point I don't know if I will ever get a desire to spend my time on Facebook again. I will just have to see where my heart is in a year I suppose. In the meantime, I'm enjoying sitting back and in the words of George Strait, enjoying His fingerprints that are all around us. I definitely have seen God today.

 Sawyer now 10 months old! 

 Addy decided it would be fun to water her brother... lol. 

My Addyson 2 1/2

A Change On The Outside Means...

Growing up, my dad always said, "a change on the outside, means a change on the inside." He is going to chuckle to himself when he reads this, but the time that stands out in my mind the most where this famous phrase was used was when I walked into my parents bedroom one evening and he saw a new found accessory on my face. Yup, I got my nosed pierced. I was about 22, if I can remember correctly, and made my youngest sister come with me because I was so nervous. My dad took one look at my nose and one look at me and smiled and said, "a change on the outside means a change on the inside." I have a feeling he wasn't thinking this change on the inside was too fantastic in that moment. ☺ I rolled my eyes, I'm sure, and didn't think much about it. I'm still not exactly certain why I decided that day to have a large needle shoved into my nostril, but now six years later I still have it and it has just become a part of me. It's my little accessory that my daughter likes to call my "nose earring." I have many speculations looking back, none for certain, but I do know that there had to be a reason for doing this at the time and I wish I would have been blogging then because it would have been very interesting to read now what was going on in my 22 year old brain. Or actually, thinking about it now, it's probably a good thing I wasn't blogging. lol.

This idea of a change on the outside means a change on the inside can be either positive or negative. I can now understand this phrase from such a deeper level and it hit me tonight when I once again am realizing just what kind of journey that I am going on with my initial outside change being getting off of Facebook for 365 days.There is a definite change going on inside of me and I think I'm only beginning to see the tip of the iceberg of where I'm headed.

Tonight my husband and I went to the second week of a class that one of the pastors at our church is teaching. The class is entitled Doctrine & Theology. I learned in the first week of the class that I am a theologian! I feel so prestigious saying that. In theory, it's simply someone that studies God. Anyways, tonight we showed up 30 minutes late, and not because we were running late, we actually thought in our head, or I guess I should say I THOUGHT that the time the class started was 6:30 and as we were walking out the door at 6 pm, I got a call from my sister's boyfriend and he had to break the news that the class was indeed starting at that moment. This was totally on me, as I was the one that went to last week's class, while my husband stayed home with the sick kids and I didn't remember the time? So ridiculous. We have a small commute to our church so we were driving and my husband said, "Well now I don't feel so bad about earlier!" We had a good laugh. My husband (and he gave me permission to tell this story) went to the store this afternoon to get more baby formula since we were on the last bottle and his mom was going to be watching our kids for us tonight. So he came back with exactly everything else on the list except the formula which was the entire reason for the trip! He was so annoyed with himself and had to make yet another trip out, and if you know where we live, well the store is not so convenient. So we both had some short term memory loss today. Usually I just blame this sort of thing on baby brain... but I have a feeling now that my son is just about 10 months old that I don't think people are going to buy it much longer.. haha. Maybe I just need to have another baby? Oh man... see where my brain goes? Back to the topic lady!

Despite our arrival being 30 minutes late, the class was amazing and my husband and I left it feeling convicted and uplifted.  A good portion of tonight's class was on the topic of "how can I know if it is God's voice?" Basically, the pastor was saying, let's say you are praying and asking God for an answer to something and you feel like you get an answer from God, well how do we actually know that is God? Oh so many times I have said to myself that God has put something on my heart, or I felt God telling me something. I never thought about the fact that it may not actually be God, but possibly my own thoughts, feelings, and interpretations of prayer and they could be wrong! I hope I'm not losing anyone.. this is a deeper topic than some of my other posts, but I love this sort of stuff.

As I listened tonight I instantly thought of my initial post. I did feel as though the Lord fully convicted me of my time wasting on Facebook that Thursday morning of January 6th. It was not an answer to prayer or something I had even really acknowledged until that point. The pastor explained in so many words that in order to know if it's truly God we must test what ever we "think is right" against scripture... scripture being the breathed word of God. If you have any question as to why I fully believe the Bible I would gladly like to have that conversation with you someday. ☺


So, I decided tonight to do just that. I wanted to make sure that my change on the outside was actually something that paralleled with the word that I say so often that I trust. Believe it or not, Facebook is not found in the Bible. I was shocked. Kidding of course, but I did indeed look up the topics of time management, self-discipline and idleness. Oh boy did I hit a jackpot. 1 Corinthians 9:26-27 was one that jumped off the page at me. It it written, "So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." Practice what you preach surely comes to mind. Addiction can take so many forms and how can I look down upon any other addiction when I am struggling with one myself? It was time to remove the plank from my own eye.

Hebrews 12:11 says, "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Time management and self-discipline were the two screaming issues I was being convicted of that morning and so, good-bye Facebook for a year was my response. I had no idea exactly why I was doing it for a year, but I think the big man upstairs surely did. He knew this would be something that would hit me and hit me hard. One of my favorite things about the Bible is that it doesn't just expose your faults, it shows you how to change them.

Now, another part of the class tonight also spoke to me. It was on the idea of boundaries. This of course caught my attention because I absolutely just gave myself a boundary by challenging myself to a year without Facebook. The pastor explained tonight that boundaries change actions, but the word (the Bible) corrects the heart. Ahhhh yes! This is much like my revelation the other day in my post called It's Your Choice when I spoke on the fact that the credit for the change within me since getting rid of Facebook does not go directly to the fact that I got rid of Facebook. Losing Facebook happened to be my catalyst, but the problem isn't with the action (being on Facebook) so much as the problem is with the heart. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that everything about social media is good by any means, but the strongest conviction for getting off Facebook was due to my time wasting not the downside to social media as a whole. Back to boundaries... Boundaries will not fix us he explained tonight. I can put a boundary up of never being on Facebook again or using any form of social media, but if it wasn't for me really doing some self-examining and finding the root of this problem being more about my time management and self control then I could easily just make another addiction out of something else that comes my way. Say blogging perhaps. haha. Whatever we invest in now, we will become. Fascinating.

1 Timothy 5:13 says, "Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not." This verse also spoke to me as I went testing my theory. It reminds me of my time spent on Facebook... I always felt too busy to get important things done, yet I was hardly doing important things at all. As we go clicking from page to page gossip can happen so easily.

So, after testing my theory of the Lord putting it on my heart to give up Facebook for a season of time, I think my answer was obvious.

I'm wondering now if the outcome of a "word from God" or an "answered prayer" brings you closer to your husband, your children, your family and most importantly closer to the Lord how could it not be from Him? Maybe I'll have to ask my pastor about that one. Until then, I am just more and more thrilled to be on this journey for a year. My dad's words could not have rung more true for me today. My change on the outside of getting off Facebook definitely meant a change on the inside and so far, without sounding prideful, I think this change on the inside is a positive one. ♥

Back In Business

I never start with the title of my post. Mostly because I have no idea what I'm going to write about until my fingers hit the keys. It's now been almost a week since I have blogged and I am happy to be back.

Our house, like many others with young kids, was hit with sickness for the past week. My daughter started it off with the stomach flu and then my son got the typical runny nose that I like to call the faucet. It's amazing how much "junk" that can come out of that tiny 9 month old nose. This nose issue turned into a double ear infection.. the second one this month. Anyways, we entered the weekend with two sick kids and then while my husband took a quick jaunt to the store, did I really just use the word jaunt? That was so weird. I'll just leave it. lol. Well, during this "jaunt," I picked up my daughter to give her some medicine and out went my back. I was so irritated in the very moment it happened. I felt the surge of pain between my shoulder blades. For me, I always seem to throw my back out in this particular place. Wonderful. Now I was the cripple mom trying to take care of two sick kids. Thankfully, my husband came home to release me from any picking up children duties and I was forced to lay down. I could not pick up the house, clean much of anything, get laundry done or make dinner. Isn't that interesting. After going on all last week about how productive I was being and how much I was getting done with my new life without Facebook I was literally now crippled and back to square one.

Over the weekend I was frustrated and in pain and finally got to my holistic chiropractor Monday evening for an appointment. Once again he put me back together through acupressure and other amazing ways of turning on muscles and resetting my brain. I know it may sound crazy, but this man has fixed me from every gymnastics injury I have ever had, along with car accidents and my thrown out back incidents that have occurred more recently with having two children that I swear sometimes I look at them and feel like they are half my size.. this isn't that surprising to most of you that know my 5'1 (on a good day) frame. Okay anyways. So my back is almost fully healed and here I am now thinking about everything that happened this past week. One of my favorite sayings instantly now comes to mind. Pride comes before a fall. In Proverbs 16:18 it says: "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."  I don't know if that verse will strike you like it has me many, many, times but if I'm looking for a possible reason as to why my household would instantly fall to pieces after I was doing so good at everything last week, I think this could be a lesson learned.  Pride I feel can have such positive and negative connotations. I mean, I think it's great to have pride in what you do... to have self-respect, but if it leads to arrogance and an excessively high opinion of oneself then that is where the negatives set in.

So, last week as I was writing and okay, okay I suppose bragging a bit about my new "productive lifestyle" I suppose pride could have sneaked in there a tad. Therefore, I was instantly reminded in the days to follow that at any moment this "productive lifestyle" could be taken away. Humbling, I must say. I like to think about things, learn lessons and move on. I'd rather not dwell on my prideful week, but also tell more positive stories that came out of my recent decision that confirmed to me that I truly made the right choice.

If you remember my Top 10 Reasons I Miss Being On Facebook, my number two reason was that I was concerned that I did not have as many views on my Raving Tans Facebook page. Like I have said, Facebook has been one of the key links to my little mommy hobby's success in the past 6 months. I gained over 1,000 fans, held contests, regularly sparked conversations, etc. It has been a fantastic tool. I at first didn't even feel like I should post on the Raving Tans Facebook page at all, because of not wanting to "cheat" at my 365 days without it. A good friend told me, "Just remember that the point (of my decision to not be on Facebook) wasn't a punishment. You weren't doing something wrong. Just a challenge to better yourself, try new things, experiment. Hey, maybe with the extra time you can grow your business more!" Exactly. Although, I could probably think of quite a few things I was doing wrong by spending too much time on it, her words still rang true. Plus, I originally stated that I was not going to get rid of that page, that I was only challenging myself to the year without a personal Facebook page. As you may have read in my Losing The Mullet post, I decided to only post once a week. Although I knew this was going to take a hit on my views, I felt like it was the best way for me to approach the situation.

Anyways, I was beginning to feel worried about it and I'm not kidding you, the very next day I was contacted by two different San Diego magazines that want to interview me regarding my Raving Tans business. I seriously sat back and laughed, and I hope this doesn't come across as prideful, because it is not my intentions. It was as if right when I was feeling like maybe this whole getting off Facebook thing was a bad idea and would end up hurting my business, the Lord reminded me that blessing will always follow obedience. "All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God." Deuteronomy 28:2. I just love how the Lord works. It's like in the same week that I was taught that I need to be careful of my pride I was also rewarded.

Like I mentioned, I had no idea that this is where today's blog post was headed, but it seems like when I sit down and quietly give myself time to think over things that have happened it's amazing how much is revealed. Oh I feel like I have so much more to write on this week alone! I will save it for another post tomorrow. As for now, time to unload my Pilot from the always daunting Costco trip I had to take this morning. Running out of baby wipes before breakfast ended in me spending so much more than I had planned on "essential things" at Costco. Costco... I will also save you for another post. ♥

Top 10 Reasons I Do Not Miss FB

For some reason this list was much easier to make. Like I mentioned in the previous post, I will revisit this list in 6 months and see if anything has changed. This is my personal list and I don't mind if you share it. ☺


Top 10 (oops I couldn't narrow it down from 15) reasons I do not miss being on Facebook

15. Remember me "checking in" at the never-ending laundry piles at the Hawthorne household? They are now done and we officially have our office back.

14. No one knew if I had my coffee, who I had my play dates with, or anything else I was doing unless they asked me or wanted to go read my blog and I like it that way.

13. I did not feel like a "creeper" at any point in the past week. By creeper I mean checking someone's page just to see what they had been doing. Different from going to someone's page and posting a comment because I missed them or something.

12. By blogging, I'm now writing again which is something I love and I have not done in almost 4 years.

11. I did not get invited to an event along with 400 other people. Yes, I was guilty of doing this too. ☺

10. I did not have to "hide" any of my "friends" this week because of someone posting pictures or status updates I felt were inappropriate.

9. I did not start my day feeling scatterbrained due to the newsfeed playing over in my head.

8. I made an effort to text and check in with people because I didn't already know what they were doing via Facebook.

7. I did not have play dates, family dinner, or any other engagement interrupted due to notifications on my phone from Facebook. (yes, I'm aware you can shut these off.. I just never wanted to.)

6. I did not read any posts and instantly become saddened, frustrated, jealous or wonder WHY would someone post that?! Therefore, I was not judgmental.

5. My conversations did not begin with "Did you see what I posted on Facebook?"

4. I made dinner three times this week and that was three more times than last week. ☺

3. I had a desire to open my Bible this week.

2. When I got together with friends we actually had stories to tell each other that I had not already read about on Facebook.

1. I now have a significant amount of free time in my day in which I have now chosen to be productive with.

Top 10 Reasons I Miss FB

In light of it being one week since I have been officially Facebookless I have created a list of my top 10 reasons I miss being on Facebook and my top 10 reasons I do not miss being on Facebook. I think in 6 months I will revisit this list and see what, if anything, has changed. ☺


Top 10 reasons I miss being on Facebook

10. I did not wish anyone a happy birthday this week, and I actually have no idea when my friend's birthdays are.

9. I did not see any cute pictures of my friends' kids this week.

8. Since I do not have everyone's phone numbers that I wish I did, it is now much more difficult to get in contact with certain people.

7. I did not get to post any funny stories about my kids for everyone to read.

6. I actually have to go to news websites to see what is going on in the world, not just read it on Facebook.

5. I have no idea what everyone is doing. (Pretty sure this can go on the what I 'do not miss' list as well)

4. I wasn't able to post something and help others, such as a dog that needed a home or a prayer request.

3. I took lots of pictures this last week and realized now I will actually have to get them printed or email people, not just post them on Facebook.

2. I did not get as many views on my Raving Tans Facebook page and wonder if it will effect my business.

1. I couldn't get any quick feedback on household or mommy questions by posting on Facebook.