Friday, January 7, 2011

My first 24 hours Facebookless...

Facebookless... the little red dots underlining that word indicate it's not a known word. Maybe because no one out there today is actually Facebookless? Hmm... something to think about. I'm just going to have to ignore the little red dots for this post. ☺

As I wrote my post yesterday I started to feel such excitement and to be honest I was a bit nervous as well. It may sound absolutely pathetic but I felt my legs go a tad numb when I clicked the button to share my blog on Facebook. I knew it wouldn't be long before I would be getting all kinds of responses by my sudden decision.

Just the night before I had posted about a mobile spray tan I did for a lovely client and how her son very seriously came up to me before I left and asked me if I was Justin Beiber's mom. I could see he was very nervous to even ask me and didn't want to make him feel bad so I gracefully told him, that no, indeed I am not her, although on the inside I could barely contain myself from busting out loud! I knew I had to immediately tell the Facebook world and that's exactly what I did. I didn't even want to wait until I got home to post since I found this comment so entertaining, so I sat in the driveway and posted my status. Ahhh... I got it out! I had felt relieved. I was able to share it with someone! Funny thing was right after I posted I called my husband to tell him and then my sister and I started the conversation with, "did you see my post on Facebook!?" I now look back on this evening and it's so funny to me that I had no idea that the very next morning I would feel completely compelled to rid Facebook from my life for an entire year.

So, just so you all know, my blog caught me by surprise just like it did the rest of you. I had tossed the idea around in my head several times, but it wasn't until the morning of Jan. 6th that I actually felt this burning feeling within me that this was something I had to do. The Lord was pressing on my heart.. and I felt it. There was no way I was going to ignore this one.

My post on Facebook started several different discussions. I received many inbox messages, calls and texts. My very first text I received only moments after posting to Facebook read as follows: Heather! I just wanted to let you know that your post of fb about deleting it was very inspiring!! I don't think I'm ready to delete my account all together but I did just hide the app on my phone, thanks in part to you! So thank you! I'm excited to be more present and spend less time glued to my phone and fb :) xoxo!

My heart absolutely melted. I had hoped down deep in my heart that me airing my dirty laundry and publicly announcing my struggle with my time spent on Facebook would maybe somehow touch someone and someone could possibly relate to me and this was my very first response! Well, that wasn't the only response I got that's for sure.

Most of my messages were very positive and encouraging me to keep up this journey I began and then I got one message from someone I know and love. He left me a voicemail stating that he had the answer to me spending too much time on Facebook. He told me that I should do what he does and only go on Facebook when using the bathroom (if you know what I mean)... which is once a day. I absolutely busted out loud and yelled downstairs to my husband when I heard this message. Sorry for everyone that thinks that might be entirely too much information, but I found it rather humorous.

Other responses I got throughout the day were people simply puzzled by why I would do something like this and wondering what happened?! The honest truth is there was no big "incident" that pushed me over the edge and made me decide Facebook was the devil. Like I mentioned, I don't feel as though Facebook is wrong at all, but MODERATION is key. I'm the type that is all or nothing. It was too difficult for me to try to tell myself I only could go on once a day or once a week. A few months ago I had deleted the app from my iPhone only to put it back a week later because I was highly annoyed that I couldn't use the mobile upload tool. So for me, and only me, I felt that NO personal Facebook was the answer.

Last night I spent about an hour deactivating my Facebook page. I read through the newsfeed knowing this would be the last time for an entire year and it was so strange how differently I looked at each post. I read through each one of them and actually thought about that person. I wondered where they were as they were posting that message.. was it on their phone or on a computer? Was their family in the other room? What were their kids doing? Was this a quick escape form working? How did they feel after posting? What were they hoping to get from that post? I know this may sound like I'm completely over-analyzing the whole status update thing, but this is exactly what I thought about. I felt like I saw the whole newsfeed through a completely different lens. So strange.

After I got a hold of my thoughts, I then moved on to the actual deactivating part. This was not a simple process due to the fact that I feel it necessary to keep my Raving Tans Facebook page up. So.. the process went like this: I had to delete each of my almost 900 friends individually... then change my account settings so that only my friends could see my profile, only my friends could send me a message and only friends of friends could request me. With no friends this would mean no contact. So my page is completely unsearchable at this point and if I commented on something on a page and if my name was clicked on when it takes you to my profile there would be no way to add me as a friend, send me a message or see my page. It was sad deleting people.. I felt for a moment that I was completely crazy for doing this and how I would probably fall off the planet and hardly talk to anyone... but I went through with it. 

This morning I woke up and had no notifications on my phone. Wow, that was a change. I then got up with my kids and actually cooked breakfast. I felt completely at peace and excited about my new decision. My mind was actually still. I'm not sure if anyone will agree with me, but after waking up and going on Facebook every morning I sometimes feel a little edgy. It's like I have a million posts that are all over the map floating through my brain and although I'm going through my morning routine I am thinking about the things I read or images I saw. This morning there was none of this. My mind was still. It was amazing.

I think for day 1 I'm doing pretty well being Facebookless... I know I have a long way to go and I truly appreciate all the encouragement and kind words that I have received so far.

If you know anyone that would like to follow me on this journey, I encourage you to share my blog with them. I think the more people to hold me accountable the better... and I thank you all in advance... ♥


  1. Heather, I just recently stumbled upon your blog and am so glad that I did. Just last week I de-activated my Facebook account because of the VERY SAME reasons. I got a ton of responses instantly asking "why" and "if everything was okay??" ... everything is fine. It's just ... in today's society it seems that people aren't 'normal' without a Facebook account. I was tired of feeling obligated to check it all through out the day. It first began with boredom, and then became somewhat of a habit. I began feeling as if it were an addiction of some weird sort. A useless and time consuming one at that. So I ended up deleting it permanently. I would much rather document my family's life on my blog ... that can later be reflected back on. :)

  2. Hi Heather! I just found your blog through another blog (oops, I can't remember which one :S)...But I am so thankful I found it. I recently deactivated my FB account because, believe it or not, for the exact same reasons as you! I am so relieved that something so simple can help our family. I now have more time for the things that I love, and I have more time to spend with my family. Not just time, but more intimacy with my husband and daughter.


I'm blessed by your sweet words!

They inspire and encourage me to keep sharing my story...

Thank you.