Thursday, October 6, 2011

Over Commitment = Exhaustion.

I'm slowly learning how to say "no." This is not something that comes easy to me. I am definitely a people pleaser at times, and am constantly battling balancing my time. It becomes exhausting.

For those that don't know me personally, well here's just a small glimpse into my week... and I'm not telling you this to try to say "look at me and how much I do." By all means... I'm hoping you will "look at me and see my problem with over committing myself." This is a constant struggle for me. This is me admitting it.

First of all, I'm a wife to a hard-working man and a SAHM to two little ones full time. A piece of my heart is also in another state, where my step-son resides.

 I own a small business that I started when my son was 3 months old. It is a spray tanning business that I do out of my home and also go mobile for tanning parties. I'm a certified spray tanning technician. See side bar for link to my website! This may sound silly to some of you, but the Lord has absolutely blessed this business since day one. I provide a safe alternative to all the horrible effects of tanning beds {that out here in San Diego are part of every day life for many}. My products are all organic and even safe for giving those baby bumps a little color! My largest client base are brides and bridal parties! I truly love what I do and have met some amazing people while doing this. I work two, sometimes three evenings a week and then have to maintain keeping up with emails, my website, phone calls, etc.

My husband and I also lead a small group Bible study at our home every Tuesday night. It's based off the sermon from our church each week, and we just dig into it deeper and at the same time make some awesome friendships and hold each other accountable, pray for each other, and encourage each other on a weekly basis.

I also am a small group leader for a high school girls group at my church. I am a mentor, along with two other leaders {one being my sister} to 8 girls. I meet with them every Wednesday evening for a couple hours and just live life with them. We talk through struggles, learn about the Lord and sometimes they even teach me a thing or two.

Besides these solid commitments, I have friends that I keep up with through play dates, birthday parties and other events and now blogging because it is something I have absolutely felt called to do and I truly do find it to be another blessing.

And, I'm INCREDIBLY close with my family. I talk to my mom several times a week, sometimes every day. My sisters are my best friends. One of them lives in my community, so we get together frequently and my other sister just got married, so for the past 6 months we have been busy planning that gorgeous wedding.

Oh and lastly, we have a 6 month old puppy that I'm desperately trying to work into our family, potty train, etc. She is basically my third full-time child.

It's not hard to understand why I got off Facebook now. I truly DON'T have time for Facebook. My time is so precious to me that I want to spend it in the best ways that I can.

With all these things on my plate I sometimes start my week off feeling exhausted if I look ahead. They are all things that bring me joy, they are things that I feel blessed by, but sometimes I have learned, I have to learn to prioritize even the GOOD things in life.

Along the way, I have learned a few things...

I've learned to truly take each day as it comes.

Not to stress about what I have on the agenda for the next day because I need to focus on today. 

It's okay if I don't get everything done.

It's okay if I play on the floor with the kids and let the chores wait.

It's okay to say "no, but thank you" to birthday parties and showers from time to time because you haven't spent enough time with your FAMILY that week.

It's okay to let the fridge get down to the bare bones before making that dreaded trip to the grocery store. {I'm not a big cooking fan. lol. Although some of you are inspiring me!}

It's okay to admit you aren't doing everything perfect and to ask for prayer.

Lastly, if your husband doesn't fully support your business, your commitments, your hobby's or whatever you feel are important enough to spend time on that do take away from family time, then think twice about it. If it wasn't for my husband completely supporting me in everything I do and being OK with the fact that I don't have fully home cooked meals every night, the house may not look perfect when he walks in the door, and being flexible when things come up, things would have to change. And I would be okay with that.

If you have any advice for me about how YOU balance your time, and deal with exhaustion I would LOVE to hear from you. ♥

"Therefore, don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." Matthew 6:34. 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6. 

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7.


  1. Hello...Stopping by from Three's 4 Me!

    New follower!

  2. Well said Heather:) I'm Latoya from The Scott's Crib coming your way via Three's 4 Me! Your business sounds very interesting and I love the fact that it provides safe alternatives to tanning beds. My business is about providing healthy alternatives as well as natural nutritional supplements:) I am looking forward to reading more from you during this challenge:) Take care!

  3. hey there. love the post. i think this is a hard topic to give advice on because most of us struggle with balance as well. you said it well when you said to just focus on what you have to do TODAY cause it does get overwhelming. anyways, i think some days or weeks we'll balance well and some we won't. we're just going to have to learn as we go :) wish i lived in your area cause boy could i use a spray tan :)

  4. You sure are one busy momma!

    That is so great you and your hubs hold a bible study.

    I don't have any advice, but what you said on learning to say no is a good start and just taking it one day at a time.

    Those verses are key! God bless

  5. Okay, you are SO DARN CUTE!! Look at that family! (My husband actually has the same shirt your husband is wearing!) Anyway, I can totally relate to the whole balancing your time thing...It's something I'm trying to figure out right now as well. IT'S TOUGH!! Thank you so much linking up today, I've thoroughly enjoyed reading your post!! I hope to see you next week! (Prompt coming tomorrow!!)

  6. I so agree with you about husband support! And I still haven't found a perfect way to juggle all that I have going (and I don't even have any kids!!!) Sometimes I'll set a timer for a specific task - but then I have to have the self-discipline to stop when it beeps :)

  7. I'm not sure how I found your blog, but I'm glad I did!! I have really been struggling with being over committed. I am slowly learning to say no..;)

  8. Hi, found you on Three's 4 Me. Looking forward to reading more. May the Lord bless you MUCH!

  9. Awww... what a sweet family. I know how stretched you feel. It takes prayer and faith that God will set you where you should be. I love meeting people who love the Lord and their families as much as I do. :) You're doing great!

  10. You tapped into something that so many women are dealing with! Overcommitment is certainly a day-at-a-time battle to fight, but you're on the winning side, that's for sure as evidenced by your wise post.

  11. New follower. Loved this post. We have similar church comitments and it can be hard to make everything fit and at times we've had to step back and examine what our priorities are.

    Love all of your pictures, and your heart, such an amazing mom heart you have. Hope to get to know you better through this blogging world!

  12. First... I wish you lived in So Cal so I could be tan all the time!
    I have cut way back on my commitments. What works for me is praying on things. I know that sounds obvious, but before I say "yes" or "no" to anything I let people know that I'll pray on it and get back to them. Hope that helps. Thanks for linking up!

  13. I've been reading over your blog this morning and feeling thankful. You are encouraging me. The bare bones of the refrigerator... so true! God bless you this week. xo


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